Thursday, November 27, 2008

Bus Lanes

I hate bus lanes. Inner city traffic congestion is caused by bus lanes. My taxes paid for these largely empty ribbons of tarmac and I'm not allowed to use them. And buses; what's that all about! Never full. Three grannies and two students at best; running intermittently to places where people don't want to catch them. Since road damage goes up as the fourth power of axle weight we should be banning buses, not encouraging them. Anyway, they cost a fortune.
Then there's taxis. Since when did "bus" and "taxi" mean the same thing. Taxis are not small buses. They are not "public transport". Get out of the bus lanes!
Time for a beta-blocker, I think.

1 comment:

GC said...

This old chestnut. I’ve been waiting for it! You’ve hit the nail on the head here. Luckily, not your head on a nail.

If you drive in a city or town that you don’t know it’s a nightmare. Is it a ‘bus lane’ or a ‘no car lane’? Does it operate continually or from 7am to 7pm? No car lanes are the worst – they are the work of the devil. I’m in a car, so I can’t use them. Although Mr Taxi Driver in his…errr….car – can! Mrs Delivery Driver in her….errr…car-derived van – can as well!!!!! Motorcyclists (and cyclists) are allowed to use them also, because….because…I have no idea why they are allowed! Two wheels good, four wheels bad presumably – that’s discrimination! Its like the flippin’ Wacky Races at times!

Although, I find it quite funny when I see a bus lane blocked because 99.99% of the time its blocked by…wait for it…a bus! However, the idea behind them IS to cause congestion during rush hour. So we are supposed to sit in our cars, in heavy traffic, and look lovingly at a ten year-old Scania coughing out fumes – then get on it the next day. It’s the classic government/local authority ‘stick and stick’ approach (someone forgot the carrot).

The road damage issue is interesting because car drivers pay for the roads (theoretically – the money doesn’t really go there) To buy a car we have to pay tax. To put it on the road we have to pay ROAD tax. To put fuel in we have to pay 80% tax. When we get it fixed we pay tax. Congestion charges – a tax. Parking charges – a tax. When we sneeze we pay tax.

Alright, I admit it, I made up that last one. But to me, there is no-one nobler than the private motorist. Without us this country would be skint.

p.s. Stephen Fry, the most intelligent man on television, lives in London and drives a London cab. So driving around he is totally anonymous, can use no car lanes, will be ‘flashed out’ at junctions and can turn on a sixpence. A clever man indeed.

p.p.s. Why don’t we all buy a taxi and stick a 5.0 litre V8 under the bonnet. Then sit in a bus lane, rev the engine, and smirk uncontrollably as all of the heads of the eco-fascists explode!