Memorials to Stupidity

A dozen bunches of flowers tied roughly to the railings, a partially-deflated balloon doing its best to be less dense than air, a teddy bear garrotted by a nylon tie. We see them every few miles these days. They are stark reminders that in the battle between pedestrian and car there is only ever one winner.

I pass three of these memorials daily. One is barely fifty metres from a set of traffic lights - and safety. The second and third are at places on a motorway that no-one should attempt a crossing, but these too are less than a minute's walk from a safe crossing point. One is virtually adjacent to a subway.

Nearly always, the victims are teenagers "chancing it" across a too-busy road.

I offer no solution to this problem, only my profound sympathy for those left to mourn their loss.

Please be careful.

DON'T DO THIS!

I am a great fan of laws. The Second Law of Thermodynamics is a personal favourite; it makes sense and - the best bit - it can't be broken. Laws that we have to obey to be part of our society aren't so impressive. They can be broken. And they are. Regularly.

The real bind with so many of our laws is that we don't know what they actually are. We could do with a book: "DON'T DO THIS" or a similar title, that tells us what we can and can't do.

We still have lots of obsolete laws. I recall that the requirement to walk in front of a car whilst waving a red flag was still on the books until 1968 and I have a sneaking suspicion that Hackney cabs are supposed to carry hay (for a non-existent horse). Having a book that actually spells out what you must not do would also allow us to clear out this dead wood from our 21st Century lives.

It would also remove that "bloody hell, I didn't know that" moment when the Police pull you in for drinking a Coke whilst driving or getting on to an aeroplane with a biro.

A book full of laws (with subsequent average penalties in the margin) really would be incredibly useful. We have a highway code; why not a life code?

Identity Cards

I'm looking forward to the new identity cards. All that biometric data. Excellent idea. That will mean that anyone with a card reader can access all sorts of stuff about us. What might be even more useful is if "they" could fingerprint our mitochondrial-DNA and find out which Clan Mother we came from (you really MUST read "The Seven Daughters of Eve").
If all this was on our new identity cards...what fun. We could wear special clothes depending on our clan. Or our religion. Or blood group. Or whether we had AIDS or not. Actually, simpler than special clothes, we could just go for armbands. Different colours for, say, Catholics or Moslems or Jews. That might not be enough for some groups though. They may take their armbands off. If you were a paedophile you might get painted yellow. Bankrupts might be painted red - head to foot; just to let everyone know.
We might need to set up special camps for these people to let them - what's the word - concentrate. We wouldn't want the un-British walking the streets now would we?
So bring them on, these new identity cards.
We will probably be able to collect them at special government agencies. They will "give" you a card. In return, you hand over your freedom.
Seems fair.