X-Factor

Isn't it getting exciting?

The only real talent (Rebecca) is still there. Matt struggled through tonight. Tesco Mary was her usual clubland self. One Direction were, as ever, one-dimensional and Cher Lloyd again demonstrated that she was a one-trick pony. Two go out tomorrow.

Please, God, let four be kicked out to cut short the misery.

Qatar

I have nothing against the people of Qatar. I teach several Qatari students, sponsored by Qatar Oil. They are, without exception, lovely people and good students.

But why Qatar for the FIFA World Cup?

No stadium worth its salt, temperatures totally unsuitable for football (even at night), no history of the game there, no fan base, no football infrastructure at all. Nothing. Rien.

My guess is that the nation of Qatar is quite a bit poorer this weekend and certain gentlemen belonging to various levels in FIFA might be a fair bit richer.

Only a guess.

British Summer Time

I firmly believe in Greenwich Mean Time. That we tinker on with "our" time every Spring and Autumn is, I feel, abominable. I hold dear to my heart the idea that the day should be divided by noon and there should be as much daylight before noon as after. That we have the situation that, in "Summer Time" days, the afternoon/evening is much longer than the dawn/morning is, I believe, spiritually wrong.

A colleague was rejoicing in the extra hour in bed that we "gained" by putting our clocks back to GMT last weekend. I have spent hours this week finding and putting back clocks. There are clocks, it seems, in everything we have. Not just the fake carriage clock on the bookcase but computers, microwave, video, TV, DVD, oven, toaster, kettle...... Everything has clocks.

I have gained nothing. Clock-changing takes time. Lots of time. I remember that I wasted the same length of time around the Vernal Equinox putting my clocks forward (and thereby losing an hour into the bargain). This horological time-wasting must be costing the country millions of pounds.

The Anglo-Saxons (as per usual) had it right. The Sun rose at 6, crossed the southern meridian at noon, set at 6 and was as far "set" as it was going to be at midnight. In summer the daylight "hours" were longer than the night-time hours. In winter the positions were reversed. Only at the equinoxes (equi=equal nox=night) were day and night the same. Good old Anglo-Saxons.

How I wish it was still the Dark Ages.

Love it!

What if there are no hypothetical questions?
(Heard on the radio; can't claim originality. Damn)

Higher Education Rip-Off

I know I go on a bit about our Universities, but they really do deserve it.

A colleague's daughter is in the third year of a Business Management degree. She has four hours on her timetable. Three on Monday, one on Tuesday. That's it. That's what she pays her fees for, that's why she has taken out the loan (to be repaid until hell freezes over), that's it. Four hours. Three former students came to see me this week. I asked how it was going. Lectures? Over 450 students packed into a lecture theatre designed for 50 fewer, a lecturer who emerged at the front at 5 past the hour and mumbled for the next 50 minutes. No microphone used. Nothing either heard nor understood. Seminars? Between 70 and 100 students in a seminar. Ridiculous. What kind of "interaction" is that? That is not a seminar; it is still a lecture. Every student I talk to has the same opinion of their University staff: they couldn't care less.

“A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.”

John Ciardi

The United Kingdom

This afternoon, I am going to teach a class of Chinese students all about what we might loosely call "Britain".

The individual nations are OK. England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales. Ah but. Northern Ireland is a province and Wales is a principality. England and Scotland are nations though. With a monarch. The same monarch. A United Kingdom. Our Elizabeth II is, of course, Elizabeth I of Scotland. I know they will ask "What is the United Kingdom?" I'll stutter out England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Then they'll ask "...and the British Isles?" and I will chuck in The Irish Republic and probably the Isle of Man. But what about the Channel Islands? I think they are called Bailiwicks. Not sure. Part of the UK? Not sure. Back to the Isle of Man. Not sure. They'll ask what is the difference between Britain and Great Britain. Again, not sure. Does the UK include Northern Ireland? Not sure. How are the Channel Islands part of the EU? Not sure. How come they can be tax havens. Got me. Not sure.

I'm in for a great lesson where, ultimately, they will know exactly what I know. I know that I don't know.

Did Berwick ever make it up with Russia?

Cheryl Loses It: Shock Horror

I normally rate Cheryl Cole. True, she is a bit of a professional Geordie, but relatively sweet and harmless. Then she loses all reason.
Two of her three choices for X-Factor were a joke. One couldn't sing and couldn't sing (tonsilitis) and another couldn't sing and couldn't sing (nerves). I can't recall their names. One will be eliminated in Week 1, the other in Week 2.
Gamu Nhengu. That's who should have gone into the last 12. I hope someone spots her and signs her quickish.