July Weather

I have a very low opinion of meteorologists. From what I have to suffer on TV (four times per hour on BBC 24) it is obvious that they would have trouble getting yesterday's weather right never mind tomorrow's. I rate them well below astrologers and only slightly higher than rune-casters.

This prejudice was amply confirmed this morning whilst watching the local weather "forecaster" telling us that, in Cumbria, the hosepipe ban is still in force and there are several flood warnings for the region.

Eh?

Working like a Trojan

The other day, someone commented that I worked like a Trojan. I took objection to this. As far as my memory serves, the Trojans were the smug bastards who lounged around within the walls of Troy, only to be winkled out by the ever-industrious Athenians and their hollow horse (MTGG for short).

Maybe the person delivering the compliment thought I was a smug bastard.

This is beginning to make sense...

Snoring

I snore.
Like a wounded hippo gasping its last strangulated bellow, I snore.
This happens as soon as I am asleep; often just before (which wakes me up).
I have tried sprays and little sticky clips on my nose. Useless.
I have also tried a thingy that goes in my nose and makes me look like Va'aiga Tuigamala. I sleep better (more air) but just as noisily.
I now have a gumshield thingy that brings my lower teeth forward about 10mm and stops my flobbly airways thingies resonating when I breath. I combine this with the thingy in my nose.
This works, but I have a tendency for it to drop out. I think I need some sort of over-the-head device to keep my mouth closed at the same time.
I am, in summary, turning into Darth Vader.

Here come the girls...(not)

Please don't take this as a tirade against womankind.

I am seized by a sense of profound disappointment here.

In 1988 we changed from overtly boy-friendly O-Levels to equally overtly girl-friendly GCSEs. Out with terminal exams, in with coursework and modularity. As expected (oh come on!) girls have done really well in education since then and have outstripped boys on results day for many years now. The gap is ever-widening and will never close whilst the system is so repeatedly and unfairly skewed towards girls. I know, I know; boys had it their own way for ages. That's not my point.

Our universities are extraordinarily girl-heavy. Girl:Boy ratios of 60:40 or worse are quite common. I think there is something of an embargo on giving the true figures much air time. It would shock the Y-chromosome bearing part of the population, I'm sure.

So, since 1988, we've had a girl-friendly system and those 16 year-olds who took their GCSEs then are now 38. They got their degrees (the bulk of them) in 1993 and have been in employment since then. They should have made their mark by now. They haven't. What's happened? What have these girls* done with all this educational supremacy?

There are women now at every level of government, commerce, the professions, the law and industry; far more than there used to be, all riding the GCSE/GCE wave. What do we - society - see from this dramatic shift towards female-dominated intellectualism.

In my view, nothing.

Nothing is better. Government isn't better (there were plenty of female snouts in the trough labelled MP's Expenses. Hazel Blears for one.). It is almost certainly worse. Commerce isn't better (unless banks crashing and deep recessions count as "better"). Society is not a kinder, more considerate entity. Women as lawmakers have been a significant part of the Blair/Brown kakistocracy that gave use nearly 4000 new "offences" in ten years. Idiots!

After 22 years it seems a little facile to yet again bleat that it is "mens' fault". It can't be. There are more women with influence, education and an inside track on the infrastructures of power than ever before.

When is all this influence going to count?

* I use "girls" here with no offence whatsoever intended. It saves me writing "girls/women" each time. I don't like using "females"; I find that quite derogatory. If you are still offended, go read another blog.

Football

Germany 4 England 1

The dashed hopes of a nation are encapsulated in that line.

These hopes were ALWAYS going to be unrealised. We are, let's face it, shite at football.

The results speak volumes. USA 1-1 England, Algeria 0-0 England. We should have massacred both of these teams. With Bozo the Keeper and a toothless strikeforce the USA result is easily explained. Algeria? OMG. What a dull game. Duller than old lead.

Then - rejoice in the streets - we beat Slovenia 1-0. Slovenia? Those two million nice people just t'other side of Austria. Since when did Slovenia become a footballing nation that we were proud to beat? Again; we should have taken them apart.

So - second in the group behind USA - we limp to the second round.

Germany. The first decent team we've met after being in the easiest of groups.

0-1 (aargh) 0-2 (more aargh) 1-2 (oh. hope) 2-2 (rejoice!) 1-2 (again) 1-3 (gloom) 1-4 (despair)

I just hope the "Lampard-goal-that-wasn't" makes up a little bit for 1966.

It won't, I suspect.

Cut or Tax?

So, HM Govt is faced with the biggie. Cut or tax?

Every year of my life I have watched wasters getting away with it.

Every second of the Labour Government I watched special interest groups and uber-Quangos soaking up my money. I watched an economy become dependant upon taxes.

Cut, Dave; CUT!

Becoming Old and Confused

Things beginning with i- are starting to puzzle me. I was happy enough with my i-Pod although the advantages it holds over the old minidisk system are, in my view, vastly overrated. I can scrape by with the i-Player, especially when linked to Auntie through my Wii. How cool is that?

Now, i-Phone. Don't have one. Probably never will. Daughter number 1 has such kit and loves it. Presumably she bought the "Make me love this phone" app (or is it ap?).

Now we have the i-Pad.

No.

I think not.

A piece of hardware looking for a niche, I think.

What next? Let's use up those vowels...

i-Pod, i-Pad, i-Ped, i-Pid, i-Pud

We have the first two. The i-Ped, I'm guessing, would be something to do with walking. A small device to send electric current down one's legs (a la Galvani and the frog) to help one walk. The i-Pid (pronounced eye-peed) would be good for my generation as our sphincters fail. Keep those urges to urinate under control with an i-Pid.

The i-Pud?

Apple crumble.